This always comes back to bother me.
I was at Hyde Park with my older daughter who was 3 years old that time. It was a lovely sunshiny but windy day and we were out with a dear friend for a picnic. Poppy was having the time of her life playing in the little sand pit next to where we were seated and enjoying a picnic much like the other children around her. The park bench next to us had a massive family gathering who were also clearly enjoying the day. They were very posh to say the least for who dresses up in a Chanel suit for a picnic – this was the grandmother who was definitely the matriarch of the lot. Poppy was having a giggle and she threw some sand in front of herself. Did I mention it was windy? Well the sand went flying towards Grandma Matriarch but nowhere near a foot of her and she got really flustered. She started scolding Poppy really harshly. I was so shocked at the reaction that I just dusted off Poppy’s hands and got her close to me and calm told her not to throw sand about as it was windy. Grandma Matriarch was giving us the angry demon eyes all this while and it seemed that the rest of her family completely ignored her. My friend had gone to get some ice cream and just returned when she saw my slightly flustered face, I narrated what happened but not before leaving that place. My friend wasn’t happy about this of course and said to me that it’s not Poppy’s fault that the sand went towards the old woman. That I should’ve told the woman that its a public place and that they should’ve known better than to have a picnic right next to the sandpit! She was absolutely right. I should’ve said a few things to the woman and defended my daughter. I’d have told her loud in front of her entire family that it was a public park and that Poppy had done nothing wrong specially since the sand got nowhere near her. I felt as if I didn’t stand up for my child and it still makes me sad. My friend did point out to me that my postnatal depression hadn’t quite left me despite Poppy being 3 years old already but it didn’t do much to take the guilt away.
The guilt remains and sometimes gnaws at my conscience and sadness takes over.
(Disclaimer : Names changed)
